If you are frequent reader of JimCaddy's Blog, you will observe that it's been a while I wrote in my Diary series.
The first ever edition of JimCaddy's Diary started with "How My Passion For Blogging Came To Be", then next was "Girls In The Hotel", followed by "A Brush With The Law".
Up next is another episode titled, "A Valentine To Forget".
This is actually funny when I remember that I was the Chief Protagonist in this story, and I had several accomplices back then.
Enjoy!
Several years ago, precisely in February 2004, I played a prank on a girl I had a crush on.
There was a certain girl in my class I liked, we were in SS2, in the Commercial class in my Secondary school.
Apparently I had several girls I crushed on in my class, but I was this timid type who couldn't approach a woman without having to pee in my pants first. LOL!! (I'm not anymore, just so you know).
I had been asking this girl out, but she kept giving me this 'I-am-not-interested-attitude' which was pissing. Not that she was the most beautiful amongst the girls I crushed on, but something endeared her to me. I felt I could finally be among the so-called 'big boys' of my class.
The Days rolled by, weeks crawled by, I kept asking this girl out, but she will tell me she wasn't interested in me. Even though we played, the usual pinching in the classroom to hugging and running about childishly, I felt I had enough 'greenlight' to proceed with her.
During classes, I will draw my seat to her desk and pretend as if I couldn't see what the teacher was writing from the back where I usually sat. I looked at her book when she was writing, whenever I missed a line of dictation from the teacher. It was the kind of friendship you expect from secondary school students.
My other classmates will make jest of me and call her my 'wife', while I smiled about it, she will deny it vehemently that she doesn't like me and sternly warn anyone who accuses her of dating me.
I felt so bad that despite our closeness in class, she still had the guts to deny me openly (Just like Peter did to Our Lord Jesus Christ).
My ego was bruised, I felt heartbroken, I felt rejected.
The straw that broke the camel's back was one day when, playfully, I tried to kiss her, she gave me a playful slap on my face. Even though I knew she was joking, I smiled and I walked away. My blood boiling from within as I tried to fathom what could have led to her slapping me on the face albeit 'playfully', despite the fact that I felt we were close enough to date each other.
I now thought to myself what can I do to repay this girl back in her own coin. I then assembled some of my trusted classmates, first names starting with 'T', 'M' and 'K'. (They will know themselves when they read this).
We held a close-door meeting at the back of the class during a break and deliberated on what to do to this girl. I told them my pains and how hurt I was.
We then did a little bit of brainstorming and arrived at something.
The plan was to embarrass her on Saint Valentine's Day.
Valentine's Day in secondary school was the most sought after day in the school calender, as girls looked forward to surprise gifts that any 'mystery' guy will buy for her on that day. I am sure most of you will remember what I am talking about.
So the week preceding Valentine's Day, I and my friends made one last preparation for the big surprise I was going to give this my particular crush who wouldn't agree to date me.
I instructed my first accomplice 'T' to get me biscuits that had been exposed to air and had become soft as a result.
I instructed 'M' to get me pairs of used dirty stockings.
I instructed my last accomplice 'K' to get me spoilt oranges and a wrapping paper along when coming to school the next day, which was on a Friday, as Valentine's Day fell on Saturday, but school won't open till Monday. So I needed to get everything intact for the 'showdown'.
So by Friday, 13th February 2004, everything was set.
I was to put 'finishing touches' to the plans, as I assured my accomplices to leave the rest to me and watch out for the Monday surprise.
There was no going back, as I threw caution to the wind as I didn't care the repercussion of my action. I was hell bent on 'avenging' my bruised ego.
So during the weekend, I carefully placed all the 'goodies' including the spoilt oranges, the spoilt biscuits, the dirty stockings and I added my own 'goodies' by digging out some of my old pants (By then I had started wearing boxers.. So I had a pile of my old pants LOL!)
I wrapped everything neatly inside the wrapping paper, and I addressed it to her. I was warned by my friends not to implicate myself by using my own handwriting, but I refused. Instead I chose to use my left hand (instead of my usual right) to write all I wrote, oblivious of the fact my 'unique' handwriting will give me out eventually.
So Monday came, I made sure I timed my movement to get to the classroom when everyone had gone for the morning assembly, so I can slip the 'parcel' into her schoolbag. I did it perfectly without anyone noticing, and I went to join the rest of the group.
After the morning assembly finished, I had a class, so I just picked up my notebook and joined the Geography class which normally takes place in the second arm of my class (SS2 Science).
I couldn't pay attention to the class teacher, as I was eager to know her reaction. Meanwhile I had sent two of my accomplices to keep tabs on events going on in the class.
From afar, I was just seeing people trooping to my class to see what was going on. The excitement was too much for me to bear, as everyone kept laughing their a** out. Deep down inside me I was just laughing too and I felt this sense of accomplishment.
It was Mission Accomplished on my own part, but I didn't know my handwriting was going to give me away.
When I finished my Geography class, I rushed to my classroom to find out from my accomplices what had happened, and they told me immediately the girl got to the class after the morning assembly, she opened her school bag to find the 'parcel' in there. As usual, she was excited to see what was inside, as she called her friends to come and check out the 'parcel'.
Then she couldn't believe her eyes and she opened the 'parcel' and spoilt oranges and spoilt biscuits started falling out. Also the stockings and my used pants fell out. Immediately all her friends burst into laughter as pandemonium broke in the classroom and people trooped in from other classes to see the most humiliating Valentine's Day gift ever.
The girl suspected it was from me judging from my handwriting, but she didn't have the guts to walk up to me and accuse me.
The pandemonium that day was so much that one of my other classmates then carried the 'parcel' and started parading it round the school during the short break, prompting some teachers to report the incident to the Vice-Principal.
That was when the real trouble started.
The Vice-Principal became furious and vowed to get to the root the matter by summoning all my classmates to his office and asking us to find out the person who was responsible for the 'parcel' before the day runs out, as failure to provide the culprit will lead to severe consequences.
It was then I knew the joke wasn't getting funny anymore. As none of us could find out the culprit, the Vice-Principal got angry and told all of us to kneel down in the quadrangle under the sun and instructed that we would not attend any class until the culprit was fished out.
Then those who knew my 'unique' handwriting told me to own up for the sake of the entire class, but I refused to own up because I felt justified by what I did.
Some even threatened to report me because the Vice-Principal told us that our expulsion letters were being prepared if no one owned up to the crime (as if he had the power to expel the whole class). But I dared them to report as I felt they had no evidence against me.
To cut the long story short, the Vice-Principal summoned me to his office when he had a sniff that the handwriting was mine, he asked me to bring all my notebooks and even threatened that he was going to take me to the police station to carry out a 'handwriting test', but I would not be moved as I vehemently denied the allegation.
When this man saw that he couldn't go further with this case, as it was all initially a joke everyone laughed about, he let me free.
I was to later confess to the girl and my classmates that I was the one who played a joke on her, she said she knew all along, but that she didn't expect me to take it that far.
We became close friends after that incidence, even though we didn't keep in touch several years after, but I know she is somewhere in Scotland doing her Masters.
Guy you mean oooo, if I was the girl ehn, I wld make sure u pay dearly for the humilation u caused me.